load for load

[parch]

its just a big lump swallow and it hurts more on down the stretch
the shine went out and i'm left here in the dark
i don't know which way is home
and all i have to do is swallow
i just take it down and let it sit in me
rot for rot, load for load - it pulls into me
and i press away - but i can't get out
so i swallow
while it keeps chuggin' away
you keep chuggin' away - dragging my strings
all night and all day - i walk(think), talk(think), think(think)
always think
and always try to breathe out what you helped me breathe in
but i can't
no matter how hard i try
it just gets worse
and i swallow
this load is the big one and i can't get it all past my throat
so i chop it to pieces - but still i swallow
till its all in that big empty mess - i don't digest
i just let it all sit inside me
hungry pit waiting for more fuel (but this isn't fuel anymore)
(its more like arsenic)
and i swallow

[parch]

somewhat deserving i suppose
somewhat mislead i did the dance
where in mystic lights i wondered and i forgot before, so why not let the wind forget me now. why not let it pass?

shattered - pistol for face, pistol for face
dreams - yellow teeth and envy eye

looking down the barrel, found out what its for
wonder thru the mother's tomb and light up at the core
looking down the barrel, children for the cure
pay the price - i'll roll the dice and lick my seconds pure
i spent it all today, i spent it all away, i like the fists inside my head - i pissed it all away

[parch]

i don't want to remember, if you're gonna forget
i don't want to feel, i just want to hit
and i want to hit harder, cause that's all that stops it, i want to hit harder, cause that's all that breaks it and i want to hit you- if i can- if i can
cause i don't want to remember
i don't want to see
i want to forget
i want to feel like you do
you let it slide and i watch and you let it sink and i watch and now i can't take it anymore
i just want to forget
if you can't remember, let me forget
let me forget

[parch]

black nails clash with hope
why feel this way?
beat it away and i can rush, touch, fall, drop and stretch out my mouth to open for you
i'll take you in and you will be ribs on my side, scars in my eyes, pressed flesh, purple to grey
when riding, we fell and when falling we rode the dress of demons or undercurrents pulling and tugging my throat to fill under, fill up with water, take it away
the night time is ghost and the day - a shit host - kill it all or just shoot the needle
whichever comes quicker and swifter and stronger
whichever pushes it away faster and makes me need less and less
so i can rush and fight for more
what end?
where did we begin?
still not riding the stop down
still not taking the break
black black and i'm back.. crush white and stain black

[parch]

i've gotta look away
i've gotta make it thru the line
head fucked and head spin
i gotta throw away
i gotta throw away